Adventures in Crazy

Nothing brings me to frustration faster than IKEA directions. Exactly wtf does this mean?From this picture, I bet you can’t even tell what I’m putting together.  Spoiler alert, it’s under desk mount for a keyboard, so I don’t get carpal tunnel syndrome the next time I sit down to write the great American novel, or if I’m feeling less ambitious (and truthful) a blog post.

I especially love the front page.Oh! So, that’s what I need to have a happy face.  Five tools. Great, now can somebody tell me what the hell is in between the pencil and the screw driver.

I mean, really, would it kill them to put a few words on the page?

Which brings me to my next question, when did we stop printing words on directions?  Is the American public just a bunch of idiots that can’t read?  Or, does IKEA sell to so many nationalities that they can’t get a translator to print in a few chosen languages.

Why can’t we go back to the good old days, when companies covered all the bases by picking a language and supplying some pictures.  And lest you think I’m getting all right winged, were in America, it should be English (which I’m not even sure is a right winged idea, it just sounds like one), for all I care, IKEA’s directions could be in Swedish, then, at least, I could use Google translator.

And it’s not just IKEA. Having put together way too many Hot Wheels tracks, plastic toys, and even car beds, I can tell you wordless directions are the wave of the future, which I’m afraid leaves me feeling like the idiot with a big question mark over my head, rather than the tool toting direction slayer that I am!

Wish me luck.

I’m not going to lie to you, the first few months in our new town weren’t the easiest, especially for my third grader.  My outgoing, chatty, confident boy wasn’t used to being the outsider.  Not that he was popular in his old school, or that popularity even mattered to him, because it didn’t.  He was the boy, who was content to roam amongst his peers, curious to see what was going on, not needing to be a part of one group, but part of many.

He backed away from some cliques, like the boys who threw him down on the ground, in a “friendly” game of football, and spent a little too much time, in my opinion, with overly-aggressive girls, which in the end turned out to be school girl crushes.  But everyone knew him and liked him.  He felt comfortable.  He belonged.

Then, we moved, into a small town, characterized by tight neighborhoods, and long standing relationships, and suddenly, he was an outsider.

We had our share of “I want to go back to my old school,” moments, which frankly, was shocking to me given the fact that I never felt like he had developed any strong bonds with one particular group.  We had tears, and anxiety, and some not so nice comments, like “I wish you never moved here,” from boys whom he would come to be friends with.

I don’t know how much was in his head and how much was real, but he was struggling.  As his mom, I struggled too.  No one wants to see their kid in pain.  For me, the worst night was the Fall Book Fair, an event in an of itself.  The boys, that I had already come to know by name, from his numerous stories, were running in a pack, through the school, all in their travel soccer uniforms.

My son tried to approach them, but was greeted with lukewarm waves, as they all took off to see what other fun was to be had.  He was left standing with me, and his brother and sister.  The four of us strangers in what seemed to be a sea of commonality.

After that night, fueled by his desire, I decided I would find a way to get him on a team, whose tryouts we had longed missed.  By springtime, the second half of the season, I had resigned myself to the fact that it wasn’t going to happen, until, as luck would have it, I ran into a friendly mom, who told me that they had just had a boy quit their soccer team.

And, so, my son found his place. The spring season was pretty pathetic.  They lost all but one game, and tied two, but none of that mattered to my son.  In the end, he was part of a team and once again, he  belonged. His smile says it all.Sports, chess, Lego league, band, art club, whatever, never underestimate the power of a club to give kids the sense that they belong.

If you have kids and they have an iPod, chances are you’ve heard of Minecraft.If you have kids and they are gamers, like mine, than there is no way that you haven’t heard of Minecraft.

If you have kids and they talk about Minecraft the way my kids do, then it’s likely you’ve also felt like you’ve been transported into the movie “Airplane” sitting next to Ted.

Frankly, I don’t get it.  Though maybe that’s because I have a “bland mind” as one ardent follower declared, of all those, like me, who Google phrases like “what is the point of Minecraft.” Because as it turns out I’m not the only one who doesn’t get it, as I don’t get the whole Yahoo! answer thing, either.  I mean how does one find these questions that random individuals, like myself, post on to the world wide web, and why should I trust those that are answering it?

But, I digress.

Here’s what I found.  There really is no point. Those are my words, not the words of the number one answer which defines Minecraft as the ultimate “sandbox” game, which assumes one knows what the hell a sandbox game is in the first place.

If, you are like me, meaning not of the virtual world, then you might assume that a sandbox game is some type of metaphorical reference to free play in the sand.  Then, you, like me, would be wrong.

According to Wikipedia (what did we do before Google) :

“In a true “sandbox“, the player has tools to modify the world themselves and create how they play.^[5] Generally open world games still enforce some restrictions in the game environment, either due to absolute technical limitations or in-game limitations (such as locked areas) imposed by a game’s linearity.”

I hope that cleared it up for you.

In any case, any time that my children are on iPods, these days, which is usually limited to the weekends, you can find them in their virtual worlds, where they find each other, build worlds, and then destroy each other’s.  It’s the new sibling rivalry.And it’s all very strange.