All Sick Moms Go to Heaven

I’d like to think there is a special place in heaven for moms, who are sick with fevers, stuck home with their kids when there is a foot of snow on the ground and single digit temperatures, because it is a special kind of torture for the mom who has to endure this (me).

You see, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, your kids may love you, but that doesn’t mean that they care if you’re sick.

Oh sure, they may say they care and even ask you how you feel, one may even panic every time you cough, looking at you sideways, making you paranoid that perhaps he knows something you don’t know about your current condition, but that does not mean that they will stop fighting or needing to eat (the nerve) just because you are lying prone on the couch. And, being stuck inside all day will mean that, at some point, they will want entertainment. What about video games? That only lasts so long, especially when the PS3 stops working. Movies? We’re all watched out, especially my oldest, who has been sick since the weekend. He was the one who kindly passed his germs to me.

My only defense on the longest day ever, guilt, and I laid it on thick enough for what should have been a lifetime, at least, an hours worth of peace, before all hell broke loose, again

The worse part of being a mom and having a fever, besides the fact that you’ve got these little (and not so little, but still helpless for some reason, jeez, I need to teach these kids some independence) people still depending on you, is that you can’t just dive into your bag of tricks, suck it up, and pull out the play dough or board games. You (or, at least, I) will only want to lie in bed, pull the covers up, read, nap, or watch cheesy tv, with Vic’s smeared all over your chest.

I do not want to hear blood curdling screams, nefarious laughter, tattling about who ate the last Girl Scout cookie (we all know who it was, anyway, middle child), crying, objects whirling through the air…you get the point.

Left to their own devices, my children have proven to be animals. I’m not sure if this a comment on my parenting skills or the true nature of human beings, a la Lord of the Flies. ┬áLet the strongest survive. If that is the case, I’m not too worried about their futures, they are honing their survival skills just fine.

Today, after a two hour delay, the boys are back at school (can I get an Amen). The Lady is still home. My fever has abated. The aftermath, though, is still in full swing. Given that Little Lady doesn’t have school on Fridays, I’m not looking at any quality convalescing time until Monday.

So, to all the mothers in the world, this is the wish I make for you, if you are sick right now, like I am, may your children be at school or old enough to fend for themselves. If not, Godspeed, good luck and may the force be with you, you’re going to need it.

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