Am I bothering you, doctor?

I took second son to the doctor today.  He’s had a tough week (which means I have to). This is how it went:

Doctor:  (in an accent that conveys superiority and calmness) Idiot, why are you bringing your son back here when you were just here (glancing at computer) Monday?

Me: The other doctor told me that his allergies were acting up.  I think this might be a little more than allergies.

Doctor:  So, maybe it’s not his allergies, but it’s clearly a virus.  Didn’t you learn anything in med school?

Me:  I didn’t go to med school, doctor, I am just a lowly stay at home mom, whose son missed three days of school this week because his cough was so severe, his nose so stuffy, and now look at his eyes.  I know the nurse said that I could just pick up a prescription to treat pink eye (sight unseen) but I thought since he has gotten worse, that maybe he needed to be seen again.

Doctor:  (muttering under her breath as she gives second son the once over) You moron, you have three children, can you not see that this is a virus that just needs to run its course?  Wasting my time like this….(more loudly) is he blowing his nose?

Me: No, he doesn’t like to blow his nose.

Doctor: (ever so smugly) No wonder he is coughing, post nasal drip.  Coughs can last ten days, coughs can last weeks!  You know this.

Me:  I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you or anything. (trying desperately to convince the doctor that she had a good reason for requesting a sick visit) I just thought since he had fluid in his ears on Monday and he seems to be getting worse, and now his eyes…his cough just sounds so violent.  I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t something mo-

Doctor:  (cutting me off) Saline drops, humidifier, plenty of fluids.  If he gets worse, of course, come back.

Me:  (still trying to convince the doctor that she had a legitimate reason to be seen) Well, that’s why I came in, because he seemed worse.

Doctor:  (ignoring mother as she’s walking out the door) Goodbye, John.

Me:  (trying to get doctors attention) It’s second son.

Doctor: (holding door impatiently) Huh?

Me:  His name, it’s second son, not John.

Doctor:  Of course it is.  (door shuts, fade to black)

Ok, so this wasn’t the exact conversation, but this is sure what it sounded like to me.  It’s been a long week.  TGIF!!

 

 

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