I took second son to the doctor today. He’s had a tough week (which means I have to). This is how it went:
Doctor: (in an accent that conveys superiority and calmness) Idiot, why are you bringing your son back here when you were just here (glancing at computer) Monday?
Me: The other doctor told me that his allergies were acting up. I think this might be a little more than allergies.
Doctor: So, maybe it’s not his allergies, but it’s clearly a virus. Didn’t you learn anything in med school?
Me: I didn’t go to med school, doctor, I am just a lowly stay at home mom, whose son missed three days of school this week because his cough was so severe, his nose so stuffy, and now look at his eyes. I know the nurse said that I could just pick up a prescription to treat pink eye (sight unseen) but I thought since he has gotten worse, that maybe he needed to be seen again.
Doctor: (muttering under her breath as she gives second son the once over) You moron, you have three children, can you not see that this is a virus that just needs to run its course? Wasting my time like this….(more loudly) is he blowing his nose?
Me: No, he doesn’t like to blow his nose.
Doctor: (ever so smugly) No wonder he is coughing, post nasal drip. Coughs can last ten days, coughs can last weeks! You know this.
Me: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you or anything. (trying desperately to convince the doctor that she had a good reason for requesting a sick visit) I just thought since he had fluid in his ears on Monday and he seems to be getting worse, and now his eyes…his cough just sounds so violent. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t something mo-
Doctor: (cutting me off) Saline drops, humidifier, plenty of fluids. If he gets worse, of course, come back.
Me: (still trying to convince the doctor that she had a legitimate reason to be seen) Well, that’s why I came in, because he seemed worse.
Doctor: (ignoring mother as she’s walking out the door) Goodbye, John.
Me: (trying to get doctors attention) It’s second son.
Doctor: (holding door impatiently) Huh?
Me: His name, it’s second son, not John.
Doctor: Of course it is. (door shuts, fade to black)
Ok, so this wasn’t the exact conversation, but this is sure what it sounded like to me. It’s been a long week. TGIF!!