Burning Questions

Sleep, will I ever find you again?

Second son, will you get the hell out of my bed?Home Inspector from Hell, was it really necessary to make it sound as if my house was falling down?

Realtor Dude, can you find out what the hell is going on with the buyers?

Mover Man, is it really that expensive to move five miles away?

Buyer People, do you really think I can get a plumber, roofer, carpenter, mold inspector, mason and every other service person in the tri-state area into my house in one weeks time?  And make repairs?  And pay for them all, as cosmetic as some of them are?

Anyone, does it really make sense to put a dehumidifier in a crawl space that is essentially open to the outdoors?  Should I install one under the deck as well?

Minion One, why did your grandmother have to die, in London of all places?  I was just beginning to warm to you and now I’m stuck with Minion Two, speaking of which…

Minion Two, can you just find me a monthly rental?

Number One Husband, is softball really that important? Are you going to the World Series?  Is there a cash prize if you win, and can I get in on some fun weekly activity and you put all the children to sleep?

First son, where do you get all your energy and why can’t you sleep past six a.m.?Telemarketers, aren’t I on the do not call list?  And whomever’s calling from Asset Acceptance, no I will not confirm my phone number!

Jury Management Office, was it really necessary to hit me up with a jury notice, now, in the middle of all this craziness?  Do you not know that I may/may not be moving in less than two weeks and I may/may not have some place to live?  And the buyers may/may not be trying to back out, and that first son has two birthday parties to attend this Saturday and my husband is devoted to his softball team and I haven’t packed a single item and my Realtor is a moron, and I haven’t been sleeping well and we had a bad home inspection….oh, you didn’t?  Here’s a link to my blog adventuresincrazy.com. What? They won’t let you surf the Internet during working hours while collecting two pensions? What happened to all the good civil servant jobs?

And little lady, well, no questions for you, just a big fat CONGRATULATIONS for pooping on the potty again!  Aside from your weird fascination with bathroom cups, you rock! Off to check out a rental that I may or may not need.  Have a nice day!

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