IKEA Idiot

Nothing brings me to frustration faster than IKEA directions. Exactly wtf does this mean?From this picture, I bet you can’t even tell what I’m putting together.  Spoiler alert, it’s under desk mount for a keyboard, so I don’t get carpal tunnel syndrome the next time I sit down to write the great American novel, or if I’m feeling less ambitious (and truthful) a blog post.

I especially love the front page.Oh! So, that’s what I need to have a happy face.  Five tools. Great, now can somebody tell me what the hell is in between the pencil and the screw driver.

I mean, really, would it kill them to put a few words on the page?

Which brings me to my next question, when did we stop printing words on directions?  Is the American public just a bunch of idiots that can’t read?  Or, does IKEA sell to so many nationalities that they can’t get a translator to print in a few chosen languages.

Why can’t we go back to the good old days, when companies covered all the bases by picking a language and supplying some pictures.  And lest you think I’m getting all right winged, were in America, it should be English (which I’m not even sure is a right winged idea, it just sounds like one), for all I care, IKEA’s directions could be in Swedish, then, at least, I could use Google translator.

And it’s not just IKEA. Having put together way too many Hot Wheels tracks, plastic toys, and even car beds, I can tell you wordless directions are the wave of the future, which I’m afraid leaves me feeling like the idiot with a big question mark over my head, rather than the tool toting direction slayer that I am!

Wish me luck.

3 thoughts on “IKEA Idiot

  1. Did I ever tell you about the time, 15 years ago, that I tried to put together an entertainment center from Ikea by myself? The directions were so vague and I was so convinced that they got it wrong, that I ended up drilling a hole in the top of it (thought it was the bottom piece). Finally, figured it out after a long time, but the damage was literally already done. Scott always reminds me of that moment when I rush assuredly through a project. He says, “Is this an Ikea moment?”

  2. Okay, that thing is an awl/punch. Can you tell I’ve put together one too many sets of furniture? At what point in ones life do you get to stop putting furniture together? When do we achieve that status level? That is when I will know that I have finally “made it.” 🙂

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