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Yesterday, I read an article on the New York Times website about meditation. It was interesting. Apparently, meditation can actually change your brain for the better. Now, I’m not exactly sure how this all works, because (this may come as a surprise to you), I’m not a neurologist, though I do dabble in web diagnosing from time to time. I have thought about meditation, the way I think about giving up sugar. I would like to do it, I’m just not sure that I am capable of doing it. Exactly, how does one stop all thoughts from flowing through one’s head? Please, if you have the answer let me know, because I could really use that information when second son wakes me in the middle night and I can’t get back to sleep because I’ve already started thinking about the fifteen things I need to do the next day. Or worse, when I can’t fall asleep after watching another episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. I don’t know what’s more embarrassing to admit, that I watch the show, or that I stay up thinking about it? (Why does Kourtney stay with that guy?) But I digress, see what I mean? If I could simply clear my head of thoughts, my whole life would be much easier. Food allergies, class invitations, doctors appointments, dinner, pick-up, drop-off, lessons, bills…all gone. In it’s place peaceful bliss…that would eventually lead to chaos as I let the rest of my life go to hell. Nothing like living in the moment!
Of course, I’m exaggerating a little, but even if I did have the awesome ability to clear my mind of all thoughts and focus on let’s say, my breath, when would I find the time to do all this meditating? Or worse, what if I got really good at it and zoned out while my children turned my house into a scene from “Lord of the Flies”? At least now, I only selectively ignore them. I’m still present for every scream, pinch and punch.
I just don’t think I’m programmed for meditation. Just like I’m not programmed for naps. Downtown to me involves a glass of a wine and a good book, not sitting on the floor with my eyes clothes, listening to my breath, while trying to block the inevitable thought (I could be getting so many other things done right now) that will keep beating at the door of mind until I eventually open the door, give up and just end annoyed because I could have used those few minutes to do something really useful, like surf the web. I guess my brain won’t be changing anytime soon.