The Spoon Shortage

You see this picture? This silverware has been in my life for ten years now, sitting in this box atop a shelf. It would still be there if my husband didn’t take it down and place it prominently in the foyer in the hopes that I might open it and end our spoon shortage. As you can see, I haven’t opened it yet.  Why, you ask?  Well, if you really must know, I’m saving it for my real life. You know, the one in which I pull out all my fine china and pretty platters and host stimulating dinner parties and serve good wine.  (Not the box kind that is sitting on a shelf in my pantry. Don’t judge me. It’s won awards!)

Before my husband found this box, he had been asking me repeatedly if in fact there was another box, to which I would demure, “I’m not sure.” Do you think I was telling the truth? Well, it doesn’t matter, because he didn’t, hence the box. You see, this silverware had a mate. I received them both ten years ago at my wedding shower. I was bullied into opening the first box by my mom and husband six years later when my silverware drawer looked like a table at a flea market.  They weren’t buying the whole fancy dinner party thing, since every time we had had a party, our guests used plastic ware, and then we would just run out of forks.  (Don’t worry, though, we had about ten thousand knives. Am I the only one who has noticed this?) But, I digress. There, tucked away in my closet were two perfectly nice sets of silverware and we were eating off of plastic. If ever there was an opportunity to put the fancy stuff to use, it was then, and I blew it!  So, I relented and opened up one box, and look what happened?  What did happen?  Where the hell did all my spoons go?  Besides the few that met their death in the garbage disposal, I have no idea. How can I let that happen to my second box?

So, I told my husband that I understood his frustration at our lack of spoons, and that I would buy some more silverware, rather than use the fancy, more expensive stuff (not that it’s real silver or anything). Except, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. You know how there are some things that you just don’t like spending money on? Well, for me, one of those things is silverware.  So, I bought a set of spoons and called it a day, but I haven’t opened those either, because they look really cheap. (You see what has happened here? I have become spoiled by good silverware.)

The perfect solution, it would seem, would be for someone else to buy it for me as a gift, and that happened, at my shower, ten years ago. Yet, there it still sits. Do I regret opening the first box? No. I might regret opening the second, though.  What will I use when I have my fabulous dinner party?

One thought on “The Spoon Shortage

  1. Scott was saying the same thing the other day, “Where did all our spoons go?” . I have no idea. We seem to have plenty of forks and knives, but teaspoons are always in shortage. And I’m always annoyed when I have to use a tablespoon to eat my cereal.

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