We Should All Be So Lucky

I got my hair cut and colored this weekend.  At the start of every appointment, my hairdresser likes to take ten minutes, or so, to discuss my hair.  While this has its benefits, it’s also one of the reasons why she takes so long.  Because as much as I would like to believe otherwise, I’m not special.  She gives everyone this this type of attention, which means rarely does an appointment start on time, or do I get out in under three hours.

But anyway, when it comes to my hair, I get bored easily.  I usually go in requesting a change, cut it short, layers, a bob, bangs.  Apparently, this is a repeated source of frustration to my hairdresser, which I never realized, until last year.  That’s when I asked her to cut my hair short, but then wanted to know if it would grow back in time for my brother’s wedding.  She answered, with just the right amount of sarcasm and vapidness, “So you want me to cut your hair short just so you can grow it back in?”

What can I say?  She gets me.

I also like to reference people when looking for a new do, Julie Bowen (both her Modern Family and Ed days), Reese Witherspoon, Scarlet Johannsen, and of course, Jen Aniston. Not one to beat around the bush, my hairdresser usually gives me a look, or says something akin to, you can buy Hunter Boots, but you still won’t look like Kate Moss, which is the same realization I came to, after having bought and returned my fifth pair of Hunter Boots, last year.  Not that I thought a boot would make me look like a super model, but they looked so cool on Kate.

It’s not that my hairdresser is insulting me, per se, it’s just, as she always points out, about the hair.  When I show her a hair do, she points out that it’s not the same texture as mine, and that I don’t like to take the time to style my hair, and that I don’t have a hairdresser on call, doing my hair for me, every morning.  Point taken, but just for the record, I never appreciate her bluntness, and secretly chalk up her inability to make me look like a star, her problem, not mine.

So, imagine my surprise, the other day, when I read that Jennifer Aniston has hair extensions. Call me naive, but I thought only girls like Britney had hair extensions, not Jen.  It made me see my hairdresser in a whole new light. Maybe she isn’t incompetent, after all.  Maybe, she’s just honest and doesn’t want to send me home with hair that I can’t manage, or that looks likes crap.

But, this isn’t just about my hair, it’s about Jennifer Aniston, and it only gets better. Not only does she sport extensions on and and off again, and only ends up with one of her hip, shoulder length cuts, when her hair is so damaged from said extensions that it starts to look fake, but her tan, which I always assumed to be fake, is real!  Go figure.  It turns out, she loves to sunbathe.

Her secret to beauty, according to her, she’s Greek, and she drinks Smart Water (which I’m sure she earned a pretty penny for mentioning).  These two things apparently cancel out any bad habits she might have, like smoking and tanning.

I don’t get it.  I’m Greek and have been known to drink Smart Water on occasion, but all my (past) smoking and sun worshipping did was give me wrinkles, and the water just made me pee.  But not Jen, she smokes, tans, is voted the most beautiful and sexiest woman, and was once married to Brad Pitt, before he had all those kids to tie him down. Her bad habits haven’t harmed her, they’ve helped her to live a dream life. Some girls have all the luck.

And just for the record, this weekend, with my newfound knowledge and respect, my request to my hairdresser, just a trim.

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